Does Your Appearance Communicate and Create Your Reality?

by Candace on March 1, 2010

In my last blog I talked about how I created a perception that I was “tough as nails” – untouchable.   The appearance that I innocently created to protect myself, created for me a reality.  A very lonely and unhappy reality

Yes, most everyone perceived me just that way, untouchable.  So I lived in a very isolated world.  Not because I wanted that but because the appearance I created made people not want to get close to me.

Appearances create perceptions and perceptions create reality.  There are two ways to look at this, the perception that you are giving out and the perception that you are making.

It only takes the average person 10 seconds or less to make an opinion about you.  And in today’s technology age with proliferation of email and texting your appearance is limited to letters without the essence of your words.  People are having entire relationships via email! 

What I have come to learn is to do my best to project my true self when communicating with people.  This is not always easy and I don’t always get it right.  And when it comes to email, well I try to use the phone.  And I do my best to be deliberate, conscious, open and honest in all the communication I am giving out.

Now when it comes to my perceptions of others I do believe in “gut feelings” however, there have been times in my life where the filters that I have created colored my perception of people and situations.  When I judged to quickly, I judged without truly knowing the essence of the person.

So, today I do my best not to judge to quickly or harshly.  There was a reason I appeared tough as nails.  I must remember this when meeting others.  Our work is never done, we are all becoming.

What I have learned and continue to learn is to seek open and honest communication.  This is not a skill that I was taught growing up and I have found that true for most.  Fear of rejection plays a role in the appearance and communication projected,  that was my failing.  Game playing and manipulation are also very prevalent

Initially honesty does appear to make you vulnerable and can be very frightening, but it is actually a strength.  Open and honest communication will eliminate a lot of heart ache, trouble and mis-understandings.  Success in life will all come back to open and honest communication.

First you must begin with being honest with yourself.  If you can’t do that you can’t be honest with others and your relationships will suffer.  Being honest with self can be a scary proposition because there are things about us that we don’t really want to look at.  The sooner you open the door and windows to your soul the sooner you will be able to develop open, honest and loving communication and relationships with others.

When you can develop this level of communication with self and others all of your relationships prosper.

Previous post: