Have Your Words Been the Problem?

by Candace on February 16, 2010

There was a day when I heard that words have power (many moons ago).  Well at that time I could rationalize that the energy that you used words with had power.  Like when my boss left the room after telling the project I had just spent 5 days and nights working on, was changed and I had a hissy fit!  Those words had power, I don’t doubt that my boss heard me down the hall! Let me tell you…… the hissy fit that I through only hurt me.

Yes, I was releasing a lot of frustration but the words that I used with anger actually tore me down.  I have a saying “Manifestation rides on the fuel of emotion”.  The destructive words in combination with the anger (the Universe does not distinguish between the emotions) cut my energy field.  You see words with anger (or perceived anger) magnify the words you use and cut your energy field like a knife draining you.

Energetically it’s like gashing open wounds in your skin.  I don’t like being this graphic but I feel it’s the only way you can actually understand what happens when you use words in anger.  I am sure that you have heard the phrase “words cut like a knife”.

I don’t think that I have ever met a person who at one time in their life did not have a self image issue.  What happens when you suffer from this is that often you are your own worse critic, belittling yourself at every opportunity for blame.  These words we speak to ourselves can empower us or dis-empower us.  The belittling chatter leaves us bleeding to death from our own words.

It is time to learn that everything we do is in our best interest and deserves not condemnation only the understanding that we are on a life long journey.  Life is the journey, the destination is death.  So don’t hurry, savor each moment as a special gift for you.

Many with issues around self image learned this behavior from their role models speaking these damaging words to them.  Will you be the one who stops this cycle of criticism?  We must look at the words we use with others, the damage that they do and how to heal that damage that we have created for ourselves and others.

First one must begin with becoming conscious of the words that we use how we use them and the effect on others.  I suggest taking the medical communities’ motto”First do no harm”

Second, to be effective we must understand that at some point everyone has dealt with self image issues so if there is even the slightest PERCEPTION of criticism it is likely that the person you are dealing with will be offended.  This does not mean that you intend to criticize but if your words are not clear there may be the opportunity for mis-understanding.

Sometimes even if you are doing your best to articulate effectively the person you are dealing with is so damaged in this area that they will take offense.  Your words are opening the wounds from their past. Your words resonate with the memories of their past and they bring all of that pain forward and project it into the present moment.

Interpersonal relationships are the touchiest.  This is one tool that was passed down to me from the traditional medicine men, it’s a story.

A little boy was creating a very bad havoc.  An adult come to reprimand the boy and tells him he is bad.  The medicine man says” The boy is acting badly”, when you tell the boy he is bad you condemn him to a life of being bad, when you tell him he is acting badly you condemn the act.  The lesson is to choose your words wisely.

Third, if you have wounded someone with your words you are the only one who can heal these wounds even if it was their perception that was in error.  Your words have wounded them and will leave them with scars unless you take the action to create healing.  If you begin to see the damage that your words have (use the graphic that I described above if necessary) the compassionate sincere “I am sorry” comes so easily and heals almost instantly.

Almost every moment of anger begins with mis-understandings, so look for this in your communication to find the place for healing.

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